Our apologies

Camp director Sven has been out for the last two weeks, checking out other camps from Tennessee to St. Louis to Ohio and Pennsylvania. He hopes the information he gained will help make our camp even better.

Don't worry, camper Jeff has been very busy while the director was gone. He has been working on a Snipe trap in the crafts shed and thinks he just about has it complete. There was some disappointment however as stories have been circulating around town that camper Jeff has been sneaking off to another camp during evening hours and was actually seen cavorting with known members of Camp Norway. Camp Norway is full of bad influence and unsavory characters. Rumor has it there was even a coed trip to a drive in! Hah, what is this world coming to? Personally, I think camp Norway is a sleeper cell, full of Norwegians wanting to press forward their "Reindeer" agenda.

New camper expected next week

Well Jeff is all excited because there is a rumor that a new camper will be joining us next week. His name is Casey and he has already started emailing and texting with camper Jeff about all the cool things going on in camp. Jeff is so excited he is out standing at the gate, waiting for him to arrive. We are excited because this should really increase the camps chances against the girls camp in our camp olympics because Casey reportedly "has some skills". We have never seen Jeff so excited, it's almost frightening. He has doubled his efforts on his Snipe hunt, clearly wanting to impress our new camper with a trophy Snipe. We do hope that camper Casey will be a good influence because last night, we are afraid to say the Jeff fell in with some bad influences from the State Facility down the road and was able to come up with no story better than "Ugh, we stayed up till 5 playing Axis and Allies, ugh, yes, that was it, Axis and Allies, No really we did". He then started sobbing and we never got another word out of him.

Note to parents from Rabbi Stollenburg

Here is a memo that has been handed down by the good Rabbi.

"Today is the Sabbath so Councelor/Rabbi Stollenburg held Friday night and Saturaday services for the campers. Seeing as Jeffery was the ony camper at camp it wasn't very hard to keep track of who went to services and who didn't. Jeffery did not attend either service. The camp has a very strict policy that all campers must attend all services. If they fail to attend services they face the possibility of being expeled from the camp. Seeing as Jeffery is our only camper this summer (and in order for the camp to stay in business) the director gave him and his parents a very stick warning that skipping services will not be tolorated and if he does this again he will have to meet with Rabbi Stollenburg for a one on one session in his office.


Sent from my iPhone"


Obviously the Rabbi does not have spell check on his iPhone.

Jeff Faces a Major Setback in his Snipe Quest

Camper Jeff ran into some technical difficulties in his Snipe hunt. While hiding in the bushes like we had taught him, he heard an animal rustling nearby and so he stealthily stalked it and pounced. Fortunately he bagged what he thought was a rare black and white striped snipe quickly so he limited the amount of spray that hit him to a minimum. The 40 gallon tomato juice bath helped with the smell but I'm afraid Jeff's pride is still a little wounded. He was so excited when he thought he had caught a snipe and we were going along with it, unfortunately Ed, an amateur taxidermist, was visiting in the lodge when Jeff brought in his prize trophy and started laughing before we could even tell him about our "special" camper. We have not seen Jeff for the last 24 hours but have heard his snipe calls incessantly all over the camp grounds. I'm afraid he won't return until he can catch himself a snipe. We are now trying to stock up on all sorts of small fury creatures that Jeff may think is a Snipe just so he can catch one and triumph once and for all. Our best effort so far is with grey squirrels because of the large population available here, just a couple drops of Super Glue and a couple sticks and instant Snipe. Counselor Mel's years in Wyoming making Jackelope wall trophies really paid off. Now that we have the "Snipes" we are trying to get the right dose of Librium, so the grey squirrels are slow enough for him to catch but not so stupid they'll fall out of the trees and hurt themselves. We did have a little problem when counselors Zac and Laura got a little too liberal with the use of the Librium, it took us almost three hours to talk Zac out of the tree and Laura is still up there. She does however help wake us all in the morning as she crows to the sunrise so it's not all bad. If we can't get her down by parents weekend, we'll have to spray.

The bad news in all of this is that camper Jeff is so entranced in his Snipe hunt that he isn't training for his events in our annual camp olympics.

The Big Hunt

Well campers, what a special day. The Sunday before Memorial Day is a tradition around these parts for the famous "Camp Winnamucca Yucca Annual Snipe Hunt". This year is no different. Even though we don't have the usual big teams with just one camper but were confident that Jeff will come home a winner. We took Jeff out to the "Happy Hunting Grounds" where there had been many Snipe sightings this Spring. This is one of the prime Snipe grounds in all of North America. We deposited Jeff with the necessary equipment; a large stick, a strong reinforced net and game bag and whistle. He was also equipped with the Snipe Call that he had made in his crafts class last night with counsellor Lawrence. Jeff had opted for the nose whistle with the serrated edges with the grating stick to create the matting call of the wild North American Snipe. Camper Jeff had been well prepared for the hunt, including all of the dangers of meeting the wild Snipe on it's own turf. We also reassured Jeff that hidden counsellors would be standing by with snipe hunting rifles and emergency first aid kits just in case he was bitten or scratched. Jeff was very impressed by how well the counsellors hid, he did not see any of them the entire day or throughout the night. Although Jeff thought he heard plenty of Snipe, he was never able to get his hands on one. Disappointed, the counsellors decided to let Jeff hunt another day or days until he got his Snipe. We certainly don't want a disappointed camper on our hands. We suggested that for the second day, he rub himself up in the dung of the very rare Easter Bunny Beetle in heat. Fortunately for Jeff, we happened to have some on hand from a previous hunt. Jeff thought it looked and smelled just like dog poop but we assured him it was the real deal. In the early morning at breakfast we trained him in vocalizing Snipe calls to use in consort with his Snipe call he made in crafts. We also, of course, recommended he walk backwards on all the trails to fool the Snipe into thinking he was leaving instead of coming. We are very confident that with these new skills, equipment and smells, Jeff can't help but come home with a trophy size beast. We told him that we would get the barbecue grill ready and Cookie said that he had already made his famous "sage and pinion nut snipe sauce". When Jeff marched off, backwards of course, he had a big confident smile on his face, so did the counsellors.

Stay tuned tomorrow for the great Snipe Hunt of 2010 update. Will Jeff catch the big one? Stay tuned.

EEEWWWWWWWWWW! Yuck!!!!!!!

History was made today at Camp Winnamucca Yucca. Camper Jeff ate the Brussels Sprouts off his plate, excuse me, ALL of the Brussels Sprouts off of his plate. It was disgusting, no one eats those things, what is this, some sort of a freak? I mean REALLY, have you ever seen anyone do that before? Thank God we didn't have any other campers this session, they would have been scarred for life. Come on, we thought this dude was a little weird with his pre-bed routine of pedicure and painted toe nails. The constant referring to himself in the third person and the cult like stalking of Oprah and Ed Bagely Jr., but Brussels Sprouts!!! Now we can't get any of the counsellors to sleep in the same bunkhouse with him so they have to do 2 hour rotating shifts so they can stay awake while they watch. We are really nervous about this afternoons horseback riding activity, just what will this wack job do next.

Memory sticks in the crafts barn

In a stunning burst of creativity, camper Jeff found himself in the crafts barn project making memory sticks. Counselor Lawrence introduced Jeff to the use of metaphors to symbolize his feelings towards his friends and family. His use of the heavily splattered red paint all over the headless dolls contrasted beautifully with the tightly wrapped cords binding them all to the road flare that looked amazingly close to a stick of dynamite. Lawrence even said that Jeff was working on poetry while making his composition. All he could hear was ramblings like K. I. L. Kill my teacher. He had incredible likenesses of all his art teachers with excruciating expressions of pain except for one which could not be recognized but holding a brush. She was portrayed like a goddess, floating above all the other figures. She was covered in roses and little hearts surrounded her head like a wreath. Were not sure what it symbolized but we knew that when Jeff was ready and stopped crying, he would probably tell us.

This afternoon, campers will get introduced to this years play. We had to make some adjustments to the original script since we only have one camper/actor. Rehearsals for the Pirate of Penzance will begin tonight.