Our apologies

Camp director Sven has been out for the last two weeks, checking out other camps from Tennessee to St. Louis to Ohio and Pennsylvania. He hopes the information he gained will help make our camp even better.

Don't worry, camper Jeff has been very busy while the director was gone. He has been working on a Snipe trap in the crafts shed and thinks he just about has it complete. There was some disappointment however as stories have been circulating around town that camper Jeff has been sneaking off to another camp during evening hours and was actually seen cavorting with known members of Camp Norway. Camp Norway is full of bad influence and unsavory characters. Rumor has it there was even a coed trip to a drive in! Hah, what is this world coming to? Personally, I think camp Norway is a sleeper cell, full of Norwegians wanting to press forward their "Reindeer" agenda.

New camper expected next week

Well Jeff is all excited because there is a rumor that a new camper will be joining us next week. His name is Casey and he has already started emailing and texting with camper Jeff about all the cool things going on in camp. Jeff is so excited he is out standing at the gate, waiting for him to arrive. We are excited because this should really increase the camps chances against the girls camp in our camp olympics because Casey reportedly "has some skills". We have never seen Jeff so excited, it's almost frightening. He has doubled his efforts on his Snipe hunt, clearly wanting to impress our new camper with a trophy Snipe. We do hope that camper Casey will be a good influence because last night, we are afraid to say the Jeff fell in with some bad influences from the State Facility down the road and was able to come up with no story better than "Ugh, we stayed up till 5 playing Axis and Allies, ugh, yes, that was it, Axis and Allies, No really we did". He then started sobbing and we never got another word out of him.

Note to parents from Rabbi Stollenburg

Here is a memo that has been handed down by the good Rabbi.

"Today is the Sabbath so Councelor/Rabbi Stollenburg held Friday night and Saturaday services for the campers. Seeing as Jeffery was the ony camper at camp it wasn't very hard to keep track of who went to services and who didn't. Jeffery did not attend either service. The camp has a very strict policy that all campers must attend all services. If they fail to attend services they face the possibility of being expeled from the camp. Seeing as Jeffery is our only camper this summer (and in order for the camp to stay in business) the director gave him and his parents a very stick warning that skipping services will not be tolorated and if he does this again he will have to meet with Rabbi Stollenburg for a one on one session in his office.


Sent from my iPhone"


Obviously the Rabbi does not have spell check on his iPhone.

Jeff Faces a Major Setback in his Snipe Quest

Camper Jeff ran into some technical difficulties in his Snipe hunt. While hiding in the bushes like we had taught him, he heard an animal rustling nearby and so he stealthily stalked it and pounced. Fortunately he bagged what he thought was a rare black and white striped snipe quickly so he limited the amount of spray that hit him to a minimum. The 40 gallon tomato juice bath helped with the smell but I'm afraid Jeff's pride is still a little wounded. He was so excited when he thought he had caught a snipe and we were going along with it, unfortunately Ed, an amateur taxidermist, was visiting in the lodge when Jeff brought in his prize trophy and started laughing before we could even tell him about our "special" camper. We have not seen Jeff for the last 24 hours but have heard his snipe calls incessantly all over the camp grounds. I'm afraid he won't return until he can catch himself a snipe. We are now trying to stock up on all sorts of small fury creatures that Jeff may think is a Snipe just so he can catch one and triumph once and for all. Our best effort so far is with grey squirrels because of the large population available here, just a couple drops of Super Glue and a couple sticks and instant Snipe. Counselor Mel's years in Wyoming making Jackelope wall trophies really paid off. Now that we have the "Snipes" we are trying to get the right dose of Librium, so the grey squirrels are slow enough for him to catch but not so stupid they'll fall out of the trees and hurt themselves. We did have a little problem when counselors Zac and Laura got a little too liberal with the use of the Librium, it took us almost three hours to talk Zac out of the tree and Laura is still up there. She does however help wake us all in the morning as she crows to the sunrise so it's not all bad. If we can't get her down by parents weekend, we'll have to spray.

The bad news in all of this is that camper Jeff is so entranced in his Snipe hunt that he isn't training for his events in our annual camp olympics.